Student - March 3, 2010

Mild sex

It happened on a cold winter evening. My street-mate took a guest to his student house. The young lady (I'll call her X) was to sleep in an unoccupied room. Another house-mate (Y) eyed her arrival with extraordinary interest

Y left his pack of cigarettes in his room and crept up the carpeted stairs. 'Psst, do you have a cigarette for me', he whispered to X. 'I don't smoke', she seemed to have said, but the trick worked. X and Y became more and more intimate, until she interrupted the process abruptly.
'Well, I had gone very far with her, and when I stood there with my pants down, she suddenly turned religious', says Y annoyed and took a mouthful of mashed kale. I don't know what he exactly means with 'very far', but the expressions on the faces of the others show that they understand him very well. Y was angry because X had deprived him of sex.
I don't intend to start a discussion whether a woman is allowed to reject sexual advances. As far as I'm concerned, she can do that anytime. Honestly, I would find it worse if she had said that she didn't want it after it had happened. Anyway, I wouldn't have even dared to ask her for a cigarette. No, my big question is: is sex involved at all in this case? 'I mean, we talk about it so often, but what is its definition, really?' I drop the question innocently at the kitchen table. A short silence follows.
'There must be sexual intercourse involved', someone says.
'No, kissing is also sex', says another.
'And if a mother kisses her child?' I comment playfully.
Even the sex scale introduced by Mike - which climbs from hugging (mild sex) to goodness knows where - doesn't give an answer. All these definitions don't hold water.
Optimistically, I type the word in Google. Alas, the millions of results only give examples, noticeably with a lot of illustrations as well. At my wit's end, I look up the definition in the Van Dale dictionary: 'Sex, the; m (...) sexual intercourse'.
Of course, sex means sexual intercourse. Not very helpful either! Irritated, I read the definition all over again.
I'm afraid that I'll never know what sex really means.