Nieuws - 24 juni 2010

Job allergy

Just a few more days. One little presentation to wrap up and my higher applied education (HBO) will be over. All things considered, my life has never looked so well-organized before.

Together with my graduation mate, I will have to speak for twenty minutes at length (that is, ten minutes each) and answer some questions afterwards. Many an employee would be happy with such low work pressure, and I think that my peers are even jealous.
But I can't relax; I'm fed-up. Suddenly, I spot all kinds of silly mistakes in the graduation report. 'This table shows this and this is shown', things like that. I am no longer satisfied with my topic. I am fed-up with my presentation, fed-up with my graduation mate and fed-up with myself. I think I am getting a little allergic to my course of study.
I used to study forest and nature management because I found the outdoors so beautiful. Those days seemed to be gone forever, since several weeks ago. I have developed a dislike to all those nature workers with their strict rules, who bend every year with the winds of subsidy providers. Since last week, I can't even watch nature documentaries without agitation. My goodness, those films are boring and long drawn out. And I can do without all that lyrical stuff. It's as if mother nature has passed away and they have to relate how good she was. Nonsense. Nature isn't nice at all. She is a collective name for frightening diseases, filthy beasts and other unforeseen happenings. How in the world did I ever think of studying it? Nature doesn't deserve all those nice superlatives, and the pathetic music in the background gets on my nerves.
Had my job allergy manifested itself only during working hours, it could be bearable. Sagging shoulders would still survive the daily eight hours of mulling over an approaching graduation presentation. But my study flares up twenty-four hours a day. I wake up in the middle of the night with 'Oh, did I forget something'. Telling myself to 'stay put' lasts only two minutes; I then jump out of bed to note down a possible error. No way, graduation is one big drama.
Oh, just a few more days, and afterwards, I might look back with longing to this period.