Student - 24 februari 2011

Guide for voters: Tick off the right box

Too busy to learn about the provincial election programmes? That’s why we’ve come up with this handy summary. Look for your type and find out which party would suit you best.

 
The idealist
You stood in front during the student demonstrations on 21 January. You were in the best position to bombard state secretary Zijlstra with tomatoes, not genetically modified, of course. You haven't had a good night's sleep since the present cabinet was sworn in - probably because you're busy 24/7 with flyers against Rutte and his gang. You are concerned with issues on the provincial level: subsidy for organic farming, averting a messy landscape, more money for art and culture. You could ask for a subsidy for your little club's weekly jam sessions at the same time. You are idealistic and persistent. But you're also naive: a poll among your friends would convince you that the Green Left party will win the elections.
Voting advice: Green Left, Party for the Animals (PvdD), Labour Party (PvdA)

 

The frat-boy
How simple things were in the past! Important decisions were made by people in the know. Now, any worker may speak his two cents' worth, and the good old days of being a politician have ended. The leftist paupers take environment and poverty much too seriously. Fed from young with a spoon from the Youth Organization for Freedom and Democracy (JOVD), you would vote unequivocally on 2 March for the People's Party for Freedom and Democracy (VVD). But actually, you don't give two hoots as to who will yield power; you're going to make a lot of money later anyway whereas voting is in fact for helpless losers. But because the party - bravo, Mark! - is doing so well and you would like to show those leftists something with a Senate majority, you're going to vote anyway. Do get up early, though: the ballot boxes will close at 9 pm.
Voting advice:
VVD
The nutrition priss
Politics and you will never be so deliciously matched. You prefer to be involved in really important issues: the number of calories in your bottle of vitamin water or cleaning the infected penis of your proud stallion. Should your thoughts wander - in one of those rare moments - to politics, then you would take a stand about matters which affect you personally. Not the JSF; you have no comments because you have never seen one. And since you find windmills ugly, you don't see any point in them at all. You remember hearing those nice papa's saying that the Christian Democratic Appeal (CDA) is 'a safe bet', or you have perhaps helped to raise the might of the Party for Freedom (PVV) at former elections.
Voting advice
: Stay home.
 
The animal breeder
You consider the Provincial Council as the umpteenth management level which makes life difficult for farmers. That is, if the CDA isn't in power. Sustainable agriculture? National Ecological Network? More windmills or highways? Almost every political party holds viewpoints which allow valuable agricultural land to be swallowed up, so you can cross out Green Left, PvdD, D66, SP and VVD. Voting for a party led by one man with a peroxide blond hairdo is also not your cup of tea. Behave normally; that's already crazy enough. You are like a born and bred CDA, supporting the agricultural main structure, pig flats and the national agriculture subsidy. Do you pray for a good harvest every Sunday? If so, vote for the Christian Union (CU). And if you pray thrice a day, then go for the Reformed Political Party (SGP).
Voting advice:
CDA, CU, SGP


The Droevendaal-er

That the normal state of politics can do something to change things is a notion that you have abandoned a long time ago. You would rather live in a province of your own, with its own mayor. Those who say that communism has failed should take a turn into the Droevendaalsteeg ('lane of sorrow'). As the New Communist Party of the Netherlands (NCPN) will not be participating in the coming elections, the Marxist brothers of the SP will stand a chance. But don't forget that global warming and wetter seasons will cause many of your cats to meet their death and the 124 chickens to lay fewer eggs. Luckily, sustainability is on top of your list and - worth mentioning - the National Ecological Network has begun to sprout in Droevendaal ('vale of sorrow'). Green Left it will be.
Voting advice
: Socialist Party (SP), Green Left
 
 
The entrepreneur
If Alexander Pechtold had not come from Wageningen, your friends would have called you the 'Pechtold of Wageningen'. You're not only a passionate politician, you also see chances everywhere. Drops of sweat well up on your forehead if you so much as hear someone drop the words 'citizen participation' and 'citizen initiative', phrases which are not scarce within your circle of acquaintances. You see the province as a large brewery of possibilities. There is potential for innovation, sustainability, green economy, creative entrepreneurship. Think of a trendy, preferably meaningless, entrepreneurial term and you would shout it out on Twitter and Facebook. You don't like all that pathetic goings-on of the left, the peasantry of the CDA or the curtness of the VVD. You embrace the new politics.
Voting advice:
D66

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