Student - September 13, 2012

D**khead?

Left-wing investors are more socially minded than right-wing ones, reports research from the University of Maastricht.

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Vietnamese and Japanese biologists have discovered a fish in the Mekong delta which has its penis on its head. After due consideration it has been named Phallostethus cuulong. Its sexual organ, with which it holds onto the female fish, hangs off its throat. Could give Phallostethus a headstart.
Socially minded
Left-wingers invest more sustainably than right-wingers and more of them are organ donors too. But right-wingers give more, on average, to charity: 847 euros as opposed to 807 euros. Figures have been adjusted for income, assets etc. Nevertheless, labour party (PvdA) voters come out as the most generous, donating an average of 1022 euros. Right-wing PVV and VVD voters follow at 977 and 865 euros respectively. The socialist SP party brings up the rear with a budget-conscious 486 euros per person. The research does not tell us what we should think of the results.
Squatting
We are already familiar with 'no squatting on the toilet' stickers in Wageningen. Cleaners at Eindhoven Uni also regularly see footprints on the toilet rim. No half measures at the technical university. Two squatting toilets are being installed for people who prefer not to sit on the loo. Male students have asked for a urinal too.
Ouch
A 19-year-old student spent two hours trapped in the gap between two buildings. When he went onto the roof for a breath of fresh air (or a leak) he fell 4.5 metres down a gap 20 cm wide. Luckily his loud screams drew attention to his plight. It took the emergency services two hours to free him. Cheers, mate. Another round?

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