I am angry, sad too and extremely offended. How could that stupid researcher from Utrecht do that? I am totally amazed at his response - we're talking about Dr Jeroen van der Sluijs - to the Wageningen UR statement about pesticides and Dutch beekeeping. You would expect the doctor to check his work before publishing it, wouldn't you? But shocking as it may seem, that is not the case.
I have only ever once caught wild bees (in the company of an amateur biologist). I found that so scary, my hands shook as I held the little creature. I certainly wasn't able to observe whether the hairs on the micro-monster were standing horizontally or lying vertically, let alone make any sensible comments on the matter. And once, when I was at primary school, I went on a visit to a beekeeper. All I can remember about that is that I found the beehives much more dangerous than the soldiers in their imposing uniforms who visited our school a week later.
No, my criticism only concerns the offensive way in which Dr Van der Sluijs refers to us: 'WUR'. WUR, WUR, how could he? Here we are, spending a fortune on new stickers for the building boards because our slogan (For quality of life) has to be in a new font from now on, and this chap just calls us WUR.
Surely anybody with a bit of sense knows by now that our organization should be called Wageningen UR? Obviously with the addition of 'University & Research centre' the first time you use it. You will understand that I nearly gagged when I read his reaction to the official statement.
Not only is the pathetic abbreviation WUR unclear, it also sounds so filthy. WUR is like a wave of vomit. And I don't mean a few specks that get expelled by mistake after coughing, I mean a disgusting, huge wave of green puke where the smell lingers for weeks. You know: pale face, watery eyes, a sprint to the toilet and then 'WUHR'.
I am deeply concerned. What is the private sector going to think of us after this report? Dear Dr Van der Sluijs, I shall ask you very nicely one more time: please just call us Wageningen UR. The thing is, we have to get a lot of our funding from the market and we could obviously really do without this kind of publicity.