News - May 16, 2013


'Shit, the eggs are weeks past their use-by date,' said Willem-Jan. It was just after one on the morning and he and his fraternity mate Roy had just got back from the Liberation Day festival. They were ransacking the kitchen in an eager search for something to eat.

'I told you we should get a kebab,' said Roy, 'but you were set on having fried egg on bread. Do you really have nothing else in the house?' Grumbling, Willem-Jan went on looking.
'I've got chocolate sprinkles and some crackers.'
'Christ! Why don't we just fry those eggs?'
'They are weeks past their date. Even I have my limits.'
'Too bad, then.'
'Fry them yourself then.' Willem-Jan threw the box on the table in irritation.
'I've got a better idea,' said Roy. 'Let's not fry them after all.'
Cool air flowed in when he opened the window. The Mortierstraat was dead quiet, strewn with squashed drinking cups and rubbish. 'First one to hit the dustbin.' Roy's first egg went much too far and splattered against a shop window. The second one was closer.
'Hey, take it in turns,' said Willem-Jan, only to curse a moment later at his useless first throw.
'What are you doing?' Willem-Jan looked down in amazement at Bianca, placing her bike against the wall of the house.
'Ten points for hitting Bianca!' She managed to dodge the first egg but was hit on the back by the next two as she fiddled with her lock.
'You are an idiot,' said Bianca once she was upstairs. She grinned. 'What are you doing?'
'We are trying to hit the dustbin but the eggs are finished.'
'I've got all sorts of junk,' say Bianca and brought ugly cups, shrivelled apples and a pot of mayonnaise out of the kitchen.
These projectiles seemed to reach their target better; Willem-Jan even scored two out of two.  Bianca hurled the mayonnaise out of the window. The pot hit the dustbin and exploded, leaving a huge white stripe on the pavement.
'Wow, beautiful!'
As Willem-Jan rushed around the room looking for more junk, Bianca started tugging at the TV.
'Roy, help a moment. The TV is bust anyway and I want to see it really fly.' Giggling they shuffled towards the window. All at once the living room door opened and a bleary-eyed Elise came in.
'What on earth are you doing? You are making an awful noise,' she groaned groggily. When she saw the television on the windowsill her eyes widened: 'No, don't!'
A moment later the television crashed onto the street.
'Brilliant,' Bianca laughed, 'that was hilarious, wasn't it?' Elise was dumbstruck.
'That was the new TV,' she said. 'I got rid of the old one this afternoon.'
'Oh,' said Bianca, trying in vain to keep a straight face. 'Oops.'