Student
Derek Pan

I got ‘robbed’ in Wageningen

I always told my parents that Wageningen was a zero-crime city. After the night before this Valentine's Day, I think I'd better eat my words.

Last Monday a new student organization PULSE held the constitution drink and I was asked to be a beadle. What’s beadle? In short, it’s a mace-bearer who keeps order of the occasion. Someone reminded me in advance that it’s not an easy job because ‘traditionally some student organizations from outside Wageningen don’t come for congratulations but sabotage aiming at taking the stick away’. Unfortunately that is exactly what happened.

I was strolling in front of the new board while they were receiving congratulations from other student organizations. At about 22.49, a tall Dutch came close to stage and eyed the mace menacingly. I sensed something wrong was happening but could do nothing except dodging behind the crowds on stage and warning ‘hey hey hey’. I reached a dead end and it was too late to guard the mace: suddenly several people rushed at me and attempted to grab it. The deadlock lasted only for a few seconds until the mace snapped into two. I instinctively clinched the lower half, but failed to stop being dragged towards the direction of the pub entrance by another six hands on the stick. The tug of war on the stick ended up somewhere 10 meters away from the pub door; I was too exhausted to hold on. And finally I had a chance to see my rivals’ faces: two malicious males and a foxy female. WSO’s former chairperson came up and tried to mediate. Now I hardly remember what they said but can’t forget the gloating smile of that bitch with a foxy face. Watching them disappear out of sight, I realized I had lost a game which somehow I took seriously.

I narrated my story to one of my corridor mates when I came home. ‘I knew little about them except their name VSSD’, I said. ‘Do you know their full name?’ ‘Vereniging voor Stomme Studenten te Delft, Association for Stupid Students in Delft in English, for short as ‘ASS in Delft’, obviously my corridor mate got drunk and mouthed off, but his gag helped me smile again. Actually it didn’t taste that bad being a loser one night before the lovers’ day; at least now I can remove one more item on my to-do list: to fight with Dutchmen.

Vid of the week: MadTV teaches you how to make a loser’s cake on Valentine’s Day

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